(The Message:Romans 9:33)
“Careful!”, I’ve put a huge stone on the road to mount Zion, a stone you can’t get around. But the stone is me! If your looking for me, You’ll find me on the way, not in the way.
________________________________________________________________
God really used this passage to communicate with me the other night. I always look at him as in my way! I feel sometimes I’m walking on a path and I see the stone in the middle of it and all I care about is whats on the other side of it and how exactly am I going to get there.
Since we have been dealing with Stephs testing, not knowing what is going to be the outcome, My step-dad’s abuse continues, I will be celebrating 39 years of abuse from him, worrying about our finances, worrying about what the market is going to do, worrying if my company is going under, worrying that I’ve pissed people off at church, worrying about our daughter and her life, worrying about our son and the choices he’s making. I try to fix these things, looking for band-aids to repair the unrepairable. I am the “MAN”, I can make it all better!!! *sigh*
I feel as though these things are on the other side of the stone. I keep trying to look around the stone and figure out what’s going on and how I can occupy my time with solutions for these things. I look around this nuisance stone, I would move it but I can’t! It’s always in my way!
I’ve never looked at my relationship with God like this until the other night when Steph and I were reading together. God showed this to me! He’s standing in the middle of my path, with his arms open, and I just push his arms away and try to look beyond him! I ignore him! I can’t believe how selfish I am! He loves me so much (John 3:16) He gives me “GRACE”!!
Father,
I want to find you on the way and not in my way. You are my rock and I pray you would teach me how to be content with just that. To not worry about what’s on the other side, but to only concern myself with you and me. I want you to stand in my path, I want you to change me.
Thank you Father for your word and the understanding that you give.
Your son,
Brian
